Jealousy and Difficult Feelings

For this meditation to change your relationship with jealousy, you'll need to make it an ongoing practice. Creating space between yourself and difficult feelings is a skill that takes time.

• Set an alarm for 5 minutes (increase the time as you feel comfortable)
• Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit
• Focus on your breath and notice the way it feels entering your nose, going into your lungs and out through your nose
• While focusing on you breath, you may notice thoughts arise that pull your attention away
  • This is a normal, important part of the practice
  • The goal is not to prevent or push away these thoughts
  • Instead, acknowledge each thought as it arises without getting caught in specific judgments about it and return to focus to your breath
  • You may find yourself doing this over and over, and that's ok

Over time, this practice will train you to notice your thoughts instead of immediately reacting to them. This little space gives you power over how you choose to act, allows you to view feelings more objectively, and gives you an opportunity to understand what's behind them.

When you feel confident in this practice, you may want to explore the strength meditation.

Strength Meditation

Exposure therapy is a very effective tool for treating fear and anxiety. Much like a muscle builds strength through exercise, repeated exposure to difficult feelings builds your ability to cope with them. Instead of waiting for situations that trigger your jealousy, use meditation to build this skill.

• Set an alarm for 5 minutes (increase the time as you feel comfortable)
• Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit
• Start by focusing on your breath
• Now, actively bring to mind your jealousy or situations that trigger your jealousy
  • Notice how your body reacts to the jealousy and where you feel it
  • Actively stay with the feeling
  • If you find your mind drift, gently bring it back to the practice

Over time, this practice will increase your capacity for coping with jealousy and you may find that building this skill helps you face other difficult feelings.